uh-oh. we are doomed! according to reports:

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alert to phase six, its highest level, and advised governments to activate pandemic contingency plans.

In Mexico, the epicentre of the outbreak, President Felipe Calderon urged people to stay at home over the next five days.

Mexico: 168 suspected deaths – eight confirmed – 12 zombies
US: one death, at least 91 confirmed cases
New Zealand: 13 confirmed cases
Canada: 19 confirmed cases
UK: 5 confirmed cases
Spain: 10 confirmed cases
Germany: 3 confirmed cases
Israel, Costa Rica: 2 confirmed cases each
The Netherland, Switzerland, Austria, Peru: 1 confirmed case each

Mapping the outbreak
Mexican economy squeezed by flu
Mexico: First swine flu cases
Africa awaits two swine flu tests

There are many cases elsewhere – including the US, Canada, Latin America, Europe, Israel, and New Zealand.

BBC health correspondent Mark McGrith says the raising of the WHO alert on Wednesday suggests a global epidemic, or pandemic, is imminent.

oh, by the way, don’t starting buying shotguns and chainsaws just quite yet…this is not a true story. it’s fake. it’s funny. simmer down. the apocalypse is not coming. yet.